10/27/11

These are the small things that concern me on a Thursday night.

Sometimes age terrifies me.
Maybe you can relate - at any age?
When I realize that I'm past the days of homework and sleepovers, and I'm not quite sure when that happened.
When I know that I'll never be sixteen, eighteen, twenty, twenty-two and one quarter ever again.
When I see that now, more than ever before, I can be what I always wanted to be. And I realize that I'm still not 100% sure what that is.
When I wonder if, had my younger self been able to look on my life now, I would be happy with how far I've come.
Or if I would be disappointed that I don't live in a house made of cheese with my best friend, reading Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle and stuffing ourselves with Oreos and Fluff.

But I think what we bring with us is ten times more important than what we leave behind.  
Like the memory of my fifteen year old self, wishing that twenty-two would hurry up already, because I was bound and determined to marry that boy.
And the lessons that remind me who I am. That God knows. That life is beautiful. That things won't be perfect. That I am small. But can do big things with my little life.

I am not so very young as I once was. But I'm not so very old as I one day hope to be.

6 comments:

  1. true. very true. although, i still wonder what those days are like without any homework...;D

    ReplyDelete
  2. i was absolutely obsessed with mrs. piggle wiggle!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I can totally relate to that. Sometimes I'm even a little frustated that I haven't fulfilled some of these huge dreams I always had. But I guess it is a journey and in that journey trusting God that He has a plan and that He has some bigger dreams for my life

    ReplyDelete
  4. So true! It's scary getting old, especially when you start choosing to stay in over weekends rather than going out with friends.

    But you're right, and I think our 15 year old selves would be quite happy with how far we've come :)

    xoxo
    Jenna

    ReplyDelete
  5. this is sweet. i share your sentiments.

    sometimes, i look around and think, HOLY what? i'm going to be old someday... and that scares me.

    at the same time, i still feel like i'm not old enough to be married, to have friends who have babies, or to have enough responsibility (or money) to pay my own bills. :)

    life's funny sometimes.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'll always be older. Mwahahaaaa. I win.

    ReplyDelete

I love hearing from you!