via.
It’s something that I’ve thought a lot of lately.
It comes to me as dull ache on my walk to the subway. As I get older, I realize
that there are some feelings that become familiar companions, for better
or for worse. For me, the first is the feeling that I am impossibly small,
which drives me, hugs me, overwhelms me. The second is this feeling. The one
that worries about being outgrown.
When I was still very young, I remember seeing
Christmas cards from my parents’ friends, most of whom I’d met. But there were a few whose faces were unfamiliar. They wrote sweet notes on the backs of the
cards, wishing our family well. Asking how we were doing. And I remember
thinking how strange it was that I’d never met these people who had a
significant role in my parents’ lives. How my children would never look at Christmas
cards and wonder who those people were.
Now I know. While the altering or end to a relationship can be painful - a slow, sad movement of time and experience – there can be value, even in this. This, too, has a season.
Because, in truth, relationships tucked away in
boxes don’t have room to grow. And holding life loosely means open-handed
relationships, after all.
